Mother's Day

This was my frist year being a mom, and I must say it was so amazing to have this day be about me now. :) The whole day I felt so blessed and lucky to have such an amazing family. I always knew I would be a mom, but I never thought I would be a mom to twins. I have the greatest kids in the world. They are so much fun and make me so happy. I had such a great day. Unfortunately, Travis had to work luckily he only works a few hours because it's a slow day, so I spent the whole day with the boys. When Travis got home he gave me my gift from him and the boys. I must say I was spoiled and he's amazing. He got me a gift card to Primrose for a 50 minute massage, 50 minute facial, 50 minutes pedicure with a gourmet lunch. I can't wait until I can use it and get pampered. Then we got the boys ready and headed to his mom's house. I always have a blast there and it gives Travis and I a break and just relax a bit. They can't get enough of them so we're lucky if we even get to see them when we're there. Sadly this was the first year my mom wasn't here. She has moved to Texas and was there on this special day. However, Tyler, me and Tessa sent her flowers to let her know that we love her and she's amazing. I was really sad to not have my mom there. All in all it was a great day and I'm so lucky to call myself a mom.

4 Months

Zander and Korbin turned 4 months old on April 11 they had their doctor appt the week after to get their shots and to get weighed and measured. I have to tell you that I absolutely love our doctor. He is so amazing with the boys and you can tell he adores them. It probably helps that he is like family, but he is amazing. Zander weighed 13 lbs 13 oz and is 25 inches long. When I saw those numbers I couldn't believe it. It seems like just yesterday I was holding a 4 lb baby in my arms with wires everywhere. Korbin weighed 11 lbs 4 oz and is 23 1/2 inches long. He is getting so big too, and he was so small, and I still look at him being so small, but he is when you set him next to his brother. I get the best of both worlds a small baby and a big baby. They are so much fun, they are full of smiles and are starting to laugh and just love to play. They seem to developing at a normal speed even being premies. They are rolling from their stomach to their back. I don't know if it's on purpose or just something that happens. Korbin has been pretty fussy, and I thought it might be acid reflux so he's on a medicine to help that. Then I think they might be teething but I have no idea. Being a parent is full of guessing games. They use to hate the car and would always cry and I found one thing that gets them to calm down and it's the weirdest thing. It's Rascal Flatts. I have no idea why, but they do. This stage has been the hardest but funnest stage.

It's hard because they don't nap in their cribs and when I put them in drowsy but awake they start bawling and they aren't on a napping schedule and that's been frustrating because I have done and tried everything known to man but nothing is helping. When I put them in when they asleep they sleep for 45 minutes, but if they are in the bouncer or swing I can get a 2 hour nap out of them. Its really hard. I've even read every book. Its very discouraging and has made be feel really insecure.

The fun things is they wake up so happy and smile the second they see you. They are starting to laugh and get more active and vocal. They love their hands and suck on everything and anything they can get their hands on. It's so fun to see their different personalities and the different things they both do and learn. I can't wait to see when they get older.

I HATE BLOGGING!!!

So I have decided I hate blogging, not only do I have nothing to talk about no one reads it. So I guess I will just write anyway to update the people that do read this.

The boys are now 4 months old (wow!!) We haven't gone to our 4 month appt yet we have one set for next week, so I don't know how much they weigh or how long they are, but they are huge. Korbin is still smaller than Zander, but I think he'll sprout up here soon. Zander might have to wear a helmet because one side of his head is getting flat (cross your fingers that doesn't happen.) If it does then we know it will help him and that is all the matters.

Zander: Is getting so strong and big. When he is on his tummy he can lift his head up and just looks all over the place. He is so smiley and loves to talk. He is so active and so much fun. His spitting up is getting so much better, but we have our days we go through 4 different outfits. Zander hates to be swaddled other then when it's nap time or bed time and even then he finds away to get out of it.

Korbin: He has a smile that couldn't get any bigger. He is so talkative and such a pill. He loves to be cuddled to the point it makes things hard to get done, but I love it because Zander doesn't really like to be cuddled anymore. Korbin has been a little bit more fussy lately and I can't seem to figure out why. I am guessing it's just because he loves to be held.

We went to my sisters house the other day to see Hadler and her, and we had such a good time. We love seeing her and Hadler. We have so much fun together and we are so close and you can just tell that my boys just adore them and Hadler loves them. I love having close kids and love that we are both stay at home mom's so we can play and make sure our kids are close friends.

I need to post pictures but I think I am just to lazy to upload them so I will do better to get pictures.

My Life

Those of you who know me know that I gave birth to twins a little over 3 months ago. I have come to realize what a blessing kids are, but also how much harder my life has become. I've never been one to tell people or say that my life is harder than your life even at times I think in my head that it is and they have no idea. I was the girl who loved her independence and free agency where she could go anywhere she wanted at a drop of a hat or stay up late and not care because she could sleep later. Well ladies and gents that has all changed. Don't get me wrong I love my kids, but sometimes I miss the, I want to go to a movie, so I just go. There are days that I look around my house and just want to cry from the overwhelming feeling I get (and that's not of joy.)I look in the kitchen and see dishes from the night before and the laundry stacking up because I don't have the time or energy to put it away. I look in my living room and I have diapers, baby clothes, baby lotion, baby wipes, swings, baby bouncers, baby boppies, bottles that still need to be washed and then I look down and see two smiling babies that all the sudden start in too two screaming babies. I than think to myself SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!! I then turn on the computer and see that I have 8 assignments due by Sunday and I then realize it's Friday another wave of tears want to take over. I'm not complaining about my life just merely venting about it. That's okay right?

I know I am so lucky to have the kids that I have, but there are times I just think that maybe I'm a bad mom for having certain feelings at times that are more angry than happy, and then I think I am a bad mom because they aren't on a schedule even if I try to get them on one and when things tart to work out with that schedule they decide they want to screw it up. I tell myself you are doing the best you can and it does get easier they are babies and you have two not one two. So give yourself a little more credit. Would it be easier if I had more time for me? If I want to plan anything I have to do it a few days in advance and then 3 hours ahead on the day it's been planned and by the time that time comes I no longer want to go out because I am exhausted.

On a more positive note I really do have the most amazing kids and I am so lucky to have them, Even with all the crap that needs to get done or the stress that starts to take over my life I lay on the floor or in bed with them and all my troubles seem to fade for about 5 minutes (that's about the time they bring me back to reality) :) They are so full of smiles which can brighten up anyone's day if you ask me. Plus the stories they are beginning to tell makes my heart grow ten times bigger because of the love I have for them. They are great boys they sleep through the night most nights and they are generally always happy.

I like being a stay at home mom, but I don't think some people realize how hard of a job it really is. I think mom's deserve more than one day to be celebrated. They need more recognition on the things they do. They are moms, wives, friends, housekeepers, psychologists, chefs, a laundry mat, and so much more and all we get is one day for people to say hey take the day off (and lets me honest do we really even get the day off?)

I am going to send a challenge out to people men, women, or children to go to a mom and say "hey you are doing an amazing job let me take the kids for a few hours you go relax, or say hey let me run you a bath so you can relax here's your ipod and a good book, or I got the laundry, dinner and dishes tonight." It's not a hard challenge and it will show unappreciated moms that we do notice.

I hope you guys don't read this and think I hate being a mom because that's not the case at all. I love being a mom, but I am just being real and not sugarcoating anything. This is my life now and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Holy Smokes 3 months!!!

I can't believe it my kids are 3 months old now. I can't believe how fast time goes. They have grown so much and have become so much fun. They are smiling so much more now and are a lot more active and alert. We love to play on the floor and have tummy time. I'm not sure what they weigh now or what their height is, but they seem to just keep growing.

Valentine's Day

This year was probably the best Valentine's. I had 3 of the best Valentines and it was low key and relaxing. Travis had to work until 8, so while he was at work I cleaned the house folded all the laundry and made dinner. I put a Roast in the crock pot made German fried potatoes and corn. Travis and I didn't want to make this year to be a big deal due to money being tight and we also don't need a holiday to tell each other we love each other. Well when he got home he had a dozen roses for me. He was so excited and happy because he made the arrangement himself, which made it so much better. We had dinner and then we watched Moulin Rouge (and I fell asleep) :) All in all it was a great day and night. I look forward to next years Valentine's Day.

2 Months.....WTH

My boys are 2 months old. I can't believe it!!! I love seeing all the changes and new things the boys do. They are getting so big and gaining weight so fast. They had their 2 month check up and had to get shots, it was so sad. I had to go alone due to Travis having to work. It was so hard seeing them cry and in pain, and it broke my heart more when I couldn't hold both of them. The doctor was amazing and let us go into his office so I could love on both of them in a chair and feed them. They fell right to sleep and slept all day. I had to wake them up to eat because they were so tired and worn out. They are sleeping so great at night they sleep 6-8 hours a night and during the day they stay awake for a few hours and sleep for a few hours. It's so fun.

Zander I weigh 9 lbs 15 oz and I am 22 inches long. I love to play on the floor with mommy and daddy and I love tummy time. I fight sleep and get overly tired so I cry because I don't know what to do with myself. They only thing that calms me down is to be un-swaddled and given to mommy with my pacifier and a fleece blanket over me touching my head and then mommy has to rock me. I am starting to smile and make more noises. I'm no longer constipated so I sleep so much better and I'm no longer fussy.

Korbin I weight 7 lbs 9 oz and I am 20 inches long. I know i am quite a bit smaller than my brother, but you wait I will catch up. I don't like to play the floor all that much because I like to be swaddled and still get scared like I am going to fall. I'm trying to get the smiling thing down, but when I do smile mommy and daddy love it. I'm a very chill guy and I am very patient. I love my pacifier when it falls out of my mouth I cry until it gets put back in. I love to cuddle with mommy and daddy, and I'm getting to be a better eater I've been eating 4-5 oz at a time.