My Life

Those of you who know me know that I gave birth to twins a little over 3 months ago. I have come to realize what a blessing kids are, but also how much harder my life has become. I've never been one to tell people or say that my life is harder than your life even at times I think in my head that it is and they have no idea. I was the girl who loved her independence and free agency where she could go anywhere she wanted at a drop of a hat or stay up late and not care because she could sleep later. Well ladies and gents that has all changed. Don't get me wrong I love my kids, but sometimes I miss the, I want to go to a movie, so I just go. There are days that I look around my house and just want to cry from the overwhelming feeling I get (and that's not of joy.)I look in the kitchen and see dishes from the night before and the laundry stacking up because I don't have the time or energy to put it away. I look in my living room and I have diapers, baby clothes, baby lotion, baby wipes, swings, baby bouncers, baby boppies, bottles that still need to be washed and then I look down and see two smiling babies that all the sudden start in too two screaming babies. I than think to myself SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!! I then turn on the computer and see that I have 8 assignments due by Sunday and I then realize it's Friday another wave of tears want to take over. I'm not complaining about my life just merely venting about it. That's okay right?

I know I am so lucky to have the kids that I have, but there are times I just think that maybe I'm a bad mom for having certain feelings at times that are more angry than happy, and then I think I am a bad mom because they aren't on a schedule even if I try to get them on one and when things tart to work out with that schedule they decide they want to screw it up. I tell myself you are doing the best you can and it does get easier they are babies and you have two not one two. So give yourself a little more credit. Would it be easier if I had more time for me? If I want to plan anything I have to do it a few days in advance and then 3 hours ahead on the day it's been planned and by the time that time comes I no longer want to go out because I am exhausted.

On a more positive note I really do have the most amazing kids and I am so lucky to have them, Even with all the crap that needs to get done or the stress that starts to take over my life I lay on the floor or in bed with them and all my troubles seem to fade for about 5 minutes (that's about the time they bring me back to reality) :) They are so full of smiles which can brighten up anyone's day if you ask me. Plus the stories they are beginning to tell makes my heart grow ten times bigger because of the love I have for them. They are great boys they sleep through the night most nights and they are generally always happy.

I like being a stay at home mom, but I don't think some people realize how hard of a job it really is. I think mom's deserve more than one day to be celebrated. They need more recognition on the things they do. They are moms, wives, friends, housekeepers, psychologists, chefs, a laundry mat, and so much more and all we get is one day for people to say hey take the day off (and lets me honest do we really even get the day off?)

I am going to send a challenge out to people men, women, or children to go to a mom and say "hey you are doing an amazing job let me take the kids for a few hours you go relax, or say hey let me run you a bath so you can relax here's your ipod and a good book, or I got the laundry, dinner and dishes tonight." It's not a hard challenge and it will show unappreciated moms that we do notice.

I hope you guys don't read this and think I hate being a mom because that's not the case at all. I love being a mom, but I am just being real and not sugarcoating anything. This is my life now and I wouldn't change it for anything.