My Life

Those of you who know me know that I gave birth to twins a little over 3 months ago. I have come to realize what a blessing kids are, but also how much harder my life has become. I've never been one to tell people or say that my life is harder than your life even at times I think in my head that it is and they have no idea. I was the girl who loved her independence and free agency where she could go anywhere she wanted at a drop of a hat or stay up late and not care because she could sleep later. Well ladies and gents that has all changed. Don't get me wrong I love my kids, but sometimes I miss the, I want to go to a movie, so I just go. There are days that I look around my house and just want to cry from the overwhelming feeling I get (and that's not of joy.)I look in the kitchen and see dishes from the night before and the laundry stacking up because I don't have the time or energy to put it away. I look in my living room and I have diapers, baby clothes, baby lotion, baby wipes, swings, baby bouncers, baby boppies, bottles that still need to be washed and then I look down and see two smiling babies that all the sudden start in too two screaming babies. I than think to myself SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!! I then turn on the computer and see that I have 8 assignments due by Sunday and I then realize it's Friday another wave of tears want to take over. I'm not complaining about my life just merely venting about it. That's okay right?

I know I am so lucky to have the kids that I have, but there are times I just think that maybe I'm a bad mom for having certain feelings at times that are more angry than happy, and then I think I am a bad mom because they aren't on a schedule even if I try to get them on one and when things tart to work out with that schedule they decide they want to screw it up. I tell myself you are doing the best you can and it does get easier they are babies and you have two not one two. So give yourself a little more credit. Would it be easier if I had more time for me? If I want to plan anything I have to do it a few days in advance and then 3 hours ahead on the day it's been planned and by the time that time comes I no longer want to go out because I am exhausted.

On a more positive note I really do have the most amazing kids and I am so lucky to have them, Even with all the crap that needs to get done or the stress that starts to take over my life I lay on the floor or in bed with them and all my troubles seem to fade for about 5 minutes (that's about the time they bring me back to reality) :) They are so full of smiles which can brighten up anyone's day if you ask me. Plus the stories they are beginning to tell makes my heart grow ten times bigger because of the love I have for them. They are great boys they sleep through the night most nights and they are generally always happy.

I like being a stay at home mom, but I don't think some people realize how hard of a job it really is. I think mom's deserve more than one day to be celebrated. They need more recognition on the things they do. They are moms, wives, friends, housekeepers, psychologists, chefs, a laundry mat, and so much more and all we get is one day for people to say hey take the day off (and lets me honest do we really even get the day off?)

I am going to send a challenge out to people men, women, or children to go to a mom and say "hey you are doing an amazing job let me take the kids for a few hours you go relax, or say hey let me run you a bath so you can relax here's your ipod and a good book, or I got the laundry, dinner and dishes tonight." It's not a hard challenge and it will show unappreciated moms that we do notice.

I hope you guys don't read this and think I hate being a mom because that's not the case at all. I love being a mom, but I am just being real and not sugarcoating anything. This is my life now and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Holy Smokes 3 months!!!

I can't believe it my kids are 3 months old now. I can't believe how fast time goes. They have grown so much and have become so much fun. They are smiling so much more now and are a lot more active and alert. We love to play on the floor and have tummy time. I'm not sure what they weigh now or what their height is, but they seem to just keep growing.

Valentine's Day

This year was probably the best Valentine's. I had 3 of the best Valentines and it was low key and relaxing. Travis had to work until 8, so while he was at work I cleaned the house folded all the laundry and made dinner. I put a Roast in the crock pot made German fried potatoes and corn. Travis and I didn't want to make this year to be a big deal due to money being tight and we also don't need a holiday to tell each other we love each other. Well when he got home he had a dozen roses for me. He was so excited and happy because he made the arrangement himself, which made it so much better. We had dinner and then we watched Moulin Rouge (and I fell asleep) :) All in all it was a great day and night. I look forward to next years Valentine's Day.

2 Months.....WTH

My boys are 2 months old. I can't believe it!!! I love seeing all the changes and new things the boys do. They are getting so big and gaining weight so fast. They had their 2 month check up and had to get shots, it was so sad. I had to go alone due to Travis having to work. It was so hard seeing them cry and in pain, and it broke my heart more when I couldn't hold both of them. The doctor was amazing and let us go into his office so I could love on both of them in a chair and feed them. They fell right to sleep and slept all day. I had to wake them up to eat because they were so tired and worn out. They are sleeping so great at night they sleep 6-8 hours a night and during the day they stay awake for a few hours and sleep for a few hours. It's so fun.

Zander I weigh 9 lbs 15 oz and I am 22 inches long. I love to play on the floor with mommy and daddy and I love tummy time. I fight sleep and get overly tired so I cry because I don't know what to do with myself. They only thing that calms me down is to be un-swaddled and given to mommy with my pacifier and a fleece blanket over me touching my head and then mommy has to rock me. I am starting to smile and make more noises. I'm no longer constipated so I sleep so much better and I'm no longer fussy.

Korbin I weight 7 lbs 9 oz and I am 20 inches long. I know i am quite a bit smaller than my brother, but you wait I will catch up. I don't like to play the floor all that much because I like to be swaddled and still get scared like I am going to fall. I'm trying to get the smiling thing down, but when I do smile mommy and daddy love it. I'm a very chill guy and I am very patient. I love my pacifier when it falls out of my mouth I cry until it gets put back in. I love to cuddle with mommy and daddy, and I'm getting to be a better eater I've been eating 4-5 oz at a time.

Getting Big

Zander and Korbin are getting so big, and it makes me so sad, but yet so excited to see all of their changes and growth. At their 4 week appointment Zander weighed 5 lbs 10 oz 19 1/2 inches long and Korbin was 4 lbs and 13 oz 18 1/2 inches long. They gained 2 lbs in 2 weeks from leaving the hospital. All I can say is they eat and eat and eat. Zander can eat 6 oz if we let him (we would let him, but he over eats and throws up so we have to monitor his intake) so we only let him eat 4 1/2 to 5 oz, Korbin eats 4-5 oz. They sleep pretty well at night they can go 4-5 hour stretches some nights its 3, but most of the time its 4-5. Its crazy that they are both still so little, but you can tell their little personalities now. Korbin is so patient and chill, where Zander knows what he wants and won't stop until he gets it. For example when he's hungry he will let you know and there is no calming him down until he can taste the milk. I do laundry at least everyday so you can imagine what our house looks like some days. I do my best to keep it clean and make dinner, but sometimes it just doesn't happen (which is more often than not.) There isn't much more I can tell you about whats been going on in this household, because all they do is eat, sleep, and poop. :)

Going Private

I am making my blog private if you want to continue reading send me your email and I would be happy to invite you.

Zander and Korbin 1 month

I can't believe it Zander and Korbin are a month old. Man time flew.....I feel a little sad about it because they were in the NICU for 2 1/2 weeks of their live and I feel I missed out on that time and the fun we could of had at home with them. I love being a mom, I won't lie though it has been tough with twins. Having one I'm sure is hard enough, but with two you double the hardness. I go days without sleep, and times where I just cry, but I am very lucky. I have very 2 great boys. They sleep 3-4 hours at a time and hardly ever cry. I know I am very blessed to have them in my life. They have grown so much. They have gained a little more than a pound since coming home from the hospital. They are great eaters. It's a true statement when people say all they do is eat, sleep, and poop. Yes they do, do all of those, but they also stay awake and play for about an hour at a time. I'm glad to have the boys home and I love being a mom.